There was a young lady who said
As her bridegroom got into bed,
"I'm tired of this stunt
That they do with ones cunt.
Put it up my bottom instead." 

There once was a gangster named Brown,
The wiliest bastard in town.
He was caught by the G-men
Shooting his semen
Where the cops would all slip and fall down. 

Spam Haiku



Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?

 --------------

Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.

 --------------

Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.
Angioplasty.

 --------------

Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown

There was a young man had the art
Of making a capital tart
With a handful of shit
Some snot and a spit
And he'd flavour the whole with a fart. 

               There once was a man named MacBride 
               Who fell in a privy and died. 
                    He had a young brother, 
                    Who fell in another, 
               And now they're interred (in turd) side by side.