There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

There once was a Vassar B.A. 
               Who pondered the problem all day 
                    Of what there would be 
                    If C-U-N-T 
               Were divided by C-O-C-K. 

When Lady Penelope swoons,
Her tits pop out like balloons.
Parker stands by,
With a gleam in his eye,
And pops them back in with warm spoons. 

A wonderful fish is the flea, 
            He bores and he bites on me. 
                I would love, indeed, 
                To watch him feed, 
            But he bites me where I cannot see. 

                    There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.