There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

Mary had a little lamb,
The news made every front page,
With pictures of her being taken to jail,
Cause you see, he was under age.

               There once was a Bactrian camel 
               Who was bound by no fetter or trammel. 
                    When he tried to make hay 
                    In his Bactrian way, 
               His wife said, "Make me; I'm a mammal." 

There once was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Grew out of his ass,
And his cock was all covered with weeds.

The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?"