There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine:
Both concave and convex,
It would fit either sex -
And could play with itself in between.

               A fellow who lives in St. Paul 
               Has one hexadronical ball. 
                    The cube of its weight, 
                    Plus his penis, times eight 
               Is his phone number; give him a call. 

There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike when it threw her.
A man saw her there
With her legs in the air
And seized the occasion to screw her. 

A morbid young lady named Jean 
               Was known as the Masochist Queen. 
                    She used thistles and cacti 
                    In pursuit of her practi, 
               In a manner both odd and obscene. 

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.