How do men sort their laundry? 

     "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". 

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

   One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
   show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
   sentence twice.
   
   First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
   bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
   
   "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
   Michael.
   
   "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,"
   he said.
   
   "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
   
   "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
   was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fuckin' beautiful!'"
   

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing 
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. 

"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very 
dangerous beast out there!"

But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less 
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was 
the couple was doing.

"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a 
brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's 
artificial respiration!"

"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which 
merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off 
on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one 
chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard 
of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the 
greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," 
replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING 
VIRGINIA PIPELINE"