A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of 
a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to 
the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." 
The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is 
hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. 

The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you 
would give me that fan." The girl gives her the fan, too.

Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus 
driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he 
has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the 
block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If 
you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." 

The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As 
she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you 
have?"

The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, 
"Chutzpah."

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands and
kicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that is
lying buried in the sand. He pick it up and starts to clean it off.
All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp.

Genie, " Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for 2
thousand years and  the first person to come along and find me is a
fag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won't
even give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will it
be."

The 2 fags are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come up
with what they wanted to wish for on such short notice.

Fag1 says," Could you give us just a little time to think about it?  I
mean one wish we need a little time."

The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as you
want but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I just
can't stand the sight of you two. Whenever youmake me your mind just
wish for it and it will done."

At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flys off into the sky.
Well the two fags decide that they will go back to the motel room and
decide on what they will wish for. Once they got back their emotions
took over and they starting doing all that fag stuff. 

Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busted
down and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the fags and throw a
rope around their necks. 

Fag1 looks at Fag2 and says, " You know this might be a good time use
our wish."

Fag2 says, "I already made it."

Fag1 " What the hell did you wish for?"

Fag2  " Well, I wish that we were hung like two niggers."

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an 
art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one 
contemporary painting caught her eye.

"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is 
that?"

He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed 
to be a mother and her child."

"Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"

With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing.
But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. 
The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the\
madder the father got. 
One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff. 
The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall. 

Q: What can you assume when you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement
A: Someone ran out of cement.