The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large 
supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here 
in the supermarket.  Can you talk to me for a couple of 
minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife
appears out of nowhere."

A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor.
He says "Doctor, I want to put her on the pill."
The Doctor says "Why?!? Is she sexually active?"
The guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."

Sent by soh

Why can't black women become nuns?

They can't say superior after mother.

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson.  One day
he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.
After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he 
leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust.
He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of
Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be
left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love.  She
asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner.  He readily
agrees and the date is set.  At the appointed time he picks her up on
his Harley and they ride to her parents house.  Before they go in she
tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first
after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first
person to break and get stuck doing the dishes.  After a long fifteen
minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over 
and kisses the woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...!  Next he decides to take a more direct
approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front 
of everyone.  And still no one says a word...!!!  Now he is getting
desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table.
They have even wilder sex.  But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next 
when he hears thunder in the distance.  His first thought is to protect 
the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out
the Vaseline.  And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes."

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright
as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept
of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, 
thinking visual images would help. 
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, 
the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. 
"Now do you understand?" he asked. 
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"