A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of 
the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got 
a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist 
and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented 
offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing 
their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for 
their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local 
drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his 
coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his 
purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate 
was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock 
train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody 
up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to 
get up." 

a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how you getting on today?"

Two men were walking along the street when they came
upon a dog licking his dick.

One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." 

The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going
to have to pet him first."

A bus stops and two Italian men get on.  They sit down and engage in an 
animated conversation.  The lady sitting behind them ignores them at 
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say 
the following: 
"Emma come first.  Den I come.  Den two asses come together.  I come 
once-a-more.  Two asses, they come together again.  I come again and pee 
twice.  Then I come one lasta time. 
"You foul-mouthed swine" retorted the lady idignantly. 
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" 
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.  "Who talkin' abouta sex? 
I'm a justa tellin' my friend how to spell a 'Mississippi'." 

Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa?
     They couldn't find three wise men!!!

Sent by Spencer