The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were 
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of 
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you 
are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always 
ask the same old ridiculous questions."

What's the definition of AIDS?

Anally Injected Death Sentence. 

Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the 
other, "Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?" 
The second farmer replies,"No I ain't." The first farmer says, "Yeah, it's 
a big yielding variety. The stalk don't grow too big, but the ears are 
tremendous!"

   The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to
   come to the police station to study a lineup of five people. He placed
   his suspect at the end of the line. Then he asked each to step forward
   and say, "Give me all your money...and I need some change in quarters,
   nickels and dimes." The first four did it right. However, when it was
   the last man's turn to recite, he broke the case by blurting out,
   "That isn't what I said."

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it 
down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another 
and again tips it down her skirt.
Finally, the barman says: "Why are you tipping your drinks down your 
skirt?"
"Well," the chick replies, "I've just won the lottery and this is the only 
arsehole I'm shouting!"