In a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found 
in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I 
understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male 
semen?"
"That's correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical info. 
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" 
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor 
girl’s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had 
inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
without a word and walked out of class...and never returned. However, as 
she was going out the door, the Profs reply was classic... Totally 
straight-faced he answered her question, he stated
"It doesn't taste sweet, because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the 
tip of your tongue". 

When we were looking to buy property I had this over zealous 
realtor show us what can only be described as a totally worn-
out old farm. I mean the land had just been worked to death. 
The weeds were hardly even growing. 

The smiling super salesman said, "Now really, all this land 
needs is a little water, a nice cool breeze and some good 
people." 

I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the same be said of Hell?"

When we lived in Topanga we knew a family consisting of a single father 
and a houseful of young boys. One morning the youngest boy came into he 
kitchen in time to see their cat piddle in the toaster. (Why the cat did 
so, nobody could ever figure out. Never had any other similar problems 
with the beast.)
He went to tell his father and while he was out of the room one of his
brothers came in and tried to make some toast.
Now, at its best, cat piddle is not readily confused with Chanel No. 5, 
and when burned it is far, far worse. They had to leave the windows open 
for days, and the neighbors had comments.
Now, whenever I think I'm having a bad day, I remind myself that today, at
least, the cat didn't pee in the toaster.

Allen H.
Relieved Los Gatos Sciolist