Something only recently discovered:

Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once. 

Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. 

2000 Presidential Election Commission

A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather
coconuts from trees demonstrated a pressing need for
a refresher course when it leapt onto the shoulders
of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist
his head off. The passer-by was treated at a local
hospital for a sprained neck.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE
IN LOVE?

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell
if  he's in love."  (John, 9)

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will
get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire.
They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts
are... on fire."  (Christine, 9)