[Times of London]
A thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for life when he tried to
get a suntan. After evading security staff at Odstock Hospital in
Salisbury, Wiltshire, and helping himself to doctors' paging devices, the
thief spotted a vertical sunbed. He walked into the unit and removed his
clothes for a 45-minute tan.  However, the high-voltage UV machine at the
hospital, which is renowned for its treatment of burns victims, has a
maximum dosage of ten seconds.  After lying on the bed for almost 300
times the recommended maximum time the man was covered in blisters. Hours
later, when the pain of the burns became unbearable, he went to Southampton
General Hospital, 20 miles away, in Hampshire. Staff became suspicious
because he was wearing a doctor's coat. After tending his wounds they called
the police. Southampton police said: "This man broke
into Odstock and decided he fancied a quick suntan. Doctors say he is
going to be scarred for life."

I was at my Aunt's house once and she is getting married so she asks my
cousin a question "Would you seat my guests at my wedding." My cousin
replied "How do I seat them.....alphabetical order?"

Sent by nukem

Amazingly, the woman who brought charges against Marv Albert has
announced that she wants to be sportscaster. 

NBC gave her an audition but she sucked.