New paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any 
red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went 
in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color: "Natural Blonde". 
There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to 
me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but 
spreads easily!"

Important Press Release: 

The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now 
fully Year-2000 compliant. In the light of this they have now renamed it 
as: "Y2KY Jelly". 
Said a spokesman: "The main benefit of this revision to our product, is 
that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two."

Yep, I was reading my Bible (King James V.) last night and found a
reference to PMS.

I believe it was in Matthew.

It was something like "...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to
Bethleham."