Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates will donate $100 million to help 
immunize children in developing countries against meningitis 
and respiratory and diarrheal illnesses. With the shot, however, 
the children will have Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0 installed in 
them.

After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already 
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next 
few hours, expect to see: 

The original "I love you" virus 
The "I like you alot" virus 
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus 
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus 
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus 
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus 
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus 
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus 

and finally, 

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus

In Minneapolis, USA, 28 year old Derrick L Richardson has been
charged with third-degree murder of his much loved cousin, Ken E 
Richardson. According to local police, Derrick had suggested to
Ken that they play a game of Russian Roulette, but, having no
revolver, instead put a semi-automatic pistol to his cousin's
head. Apparently, he did not realize that one bullet always
loads into the firing chamber of a semi-automatic.