There was a young fellow named Charteris 
               Put his hand where his young lady's garter is. 
                    She said, "I don't mind, 
                    And up higher you'll find 
               The place where my fucker and farter is." 

Three things are certain

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

   Here I sit
   What a caper
   I have to shit
   But I'm out of paper


  

               There was a young lady named Astor 
               Who never let any get past her. 
                    She finally got plenty 
                    By stopping twenty, 
               Which certainly ought to last her. 

There was a young peasant named Gorse 
               Who fell madly in love with his horse. 
                    Said his wife, "You rapscallion, 
                    That horse is a stallion--- 
               This constitutes grounds for divorce."