There was a young fellow whose dong
Was prodigiously massive and long.
On each side of his whang
Two testes did hang
That attracted a curious throng.

The was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."

There was a young lady from Kent,
When her husband's pecker it bent,
She said with a sigh,
"Oh, why must it die?
Let's fill it with Portland Cement." 

On the plains of north-central Tibet 
               They've thought of the strangest thing yet: 
                    On the ass of a camel 
                    They pour blue enamel, 
               And bugger the beast while it's wet. 

Fuck me quick, fuck me deep, fuck me oft
In the bog, in the bath, in the loft;
Up my ass, up my quim.
Knees, armpits, lip rim
With your prick...but *please*...nothing soft.