There was a young fellow named Chivy 
               Who, whenever he went to the privy, 
                    First solaced his mind, 
                    And then wiped his behind 
               With some well-chosen pages of Livy 

Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got." 

               An explorer whose habits were blunt 
               Once flavored some cannibal cunt. 
                    The asshole was shitty, 
                    And---more was the pity--- 
               It oozed from the rear to the front. 

There was a young man from Darjeeling 
               Whose dong reached up to the ceiling. 
                    In the electric light socket 
                    He'd put it and rock it--- 
               Oh God! What a wonderful feeling! 

There was a young man named Zerubbabel 
               Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. 
                    When they asked if his pleasure 
                    Was only half measure, 
               He replied, "That is highly improbable."