Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.


Sent by Todd

                    There was a young fellow named Louvies
                            
                    Who tickled his girl in the boovies,
                            And as she contorted,
                            He looked down and snorted,
                            
                    "My prick wants to get in your movies!"
                            
                                              

There was a young man from Montrose 
               Who could diddle himself with his toes. 
                    He did it so neat 
                    He fell in love with his feet, 
               And christened them Myrtle and Rose

                                        There was a young lass from Ignatius 
                                        Who lived in a garret quite spacious. 
                                                      When she went to here auntie's 
                                                      She always wore panties, 
                                        But alone in her garret,---good gracious. 

                    Once was a tattooist named Clarke
                            
                    Whose urge to render was stark.
                            He put roses on hogs
                            and bare-shaven dogs
                            
                    And nudes on drunks in the park.