I love the way...

I love the way you make me feel inside,
I live the way you make me realize that 
i can't live with  out you.
I hope you feel the same way too.
I love the way you wear your hat,
Why don't we wrestle on the mat?
But remember this one thing if you mess with me,
You will pay dearly.
Anyone who gets in the way of me loving 
you will have to pay.
I love the way you stare at me,
And you probaly love the way iI don't care.
We can take a walk by the lake,
Then later on bake a cake.
I love the way your love for me is not fake,
Because that would be a big mistake. 
I love the way you love me,
And most of all I love the way you love me.

Sent by April

When a woman in strapless attire 
               Found her breasts working higher and higher, 
                    A guest, with great feeling, 
                    Exclaimed, "How appealing! 
               Do you mind if I piss in the fire?" 

                             Ode to The Bobbits
     
   
There once was a Bobbitt named John
Who thaught he was quite the Don Juan
His wife disagreed
So the next time he wee'd
John couldn't locate his wand.

Lorena wished John could be nicer
But he wasn't much of a de-icer
If she finds a new spouse
Let us hope he's no louse
Or we might have our first serial slicer.

A surgeon was filled with great tension
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention
He stitched and he sewed
Used all the skills that he knowed
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.

John Bobbitt was never a loner
In fact, he was known as a roamer
His wife seized his prize
And cut him to size
Now he is his own organ donor.

There once was a crime most venal
One might say 'twas inches from renal
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short
Her intentions were nothing but penal.

The Bobbitt case sure is a dilly
Though it sounds a little bit silly
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker
She said she was trying to Free Willy.
  

There once was a young man from Virtualand, 
               Who traded real life for a wedding band, 
                    He signed onto the net, 
                    His betrothed got upset, 
               And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand. 

                               Do Re Mi Drink
     
   
DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH