A golfer named Sandy MacFarr 
               Went to bed with a Hollywood star 
                    When he first saw her gash he 
                    Cried, "Quick, goot muh mashie! 
               Uh thunk uh c'n muk it in par." 

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all, 
And now he's a college professor.

Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham, 
               "For religion I don't give a Goddem! 
                    I've frequently peed in 
                    The Garden of Eden, 
               And buggered my guide when in Sodom." 

A sailor indulged in coitus 
               With a cow of the genus of Cetus. 
                    Piscatologists thundered, 
                    Biologists wondered, 
               At the anchor tattooed on the fetus. 

There was a young girl of Claridge's 
            Who said, "What a strange thing marriage is, 
                When you stop to think 
                That I've poured down the sink 
            Five abortions and fifty miscarriages!"