There was a young lady who came from Decatur,
                            
                    Sang like a bird in a movie theater.
                            An alley cat heard
                            Her sing like a bird,
                            
                    So he snuck in her room and he ate her.
                            

There was a young lady of Arden, 
                                        Who s----d off a man in a garden. 
                                                      He said, "My dear Flo, 
                                                      Where does that stuff go?" 
                                        And she said, "(swallow hard)-- I beg pardon?" 
                                                                                                                                      1932 

A widow whose singular vice 
               Was to keep her late husband on ice 
                    Said, "It's been hard since I lost him--- 
                    I'll never defrost him! 
               Cold comfort, but cheap at the price," 

Dirty Old Hag



Here's to Mag that dirty old hag,
That slick and slimy old bitch,
From her nose green matter flows,
And from her toes green maggots grow.
Before I climb those scaly legs
And chew those festered tits,
I'll drink three quarts of drunkard's puke
and die with the drizzled shits.

Dr. Seuss Meets Fornigate
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join -- even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow your feathers and your tar,
I did not do her Starr you are!

Did you smile?
Did you Flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?

That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you Starr you are!
I will not answer any more!
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!