Nancy goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.
   
   He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
   
   She says, "Thank you."
   

Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe 
took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. 
"Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out 
your penie-pipe. 
Two: Pull back the foreskin.
Three: Pee.
Four: Push back your foreskin.
Five: Put your equipment back."
The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his 
still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went 
ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"
"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.
I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' "Two-four, two-four, two-four......" 

A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.
The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."
The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm counting cars,"comes the rely. "Want to help?"
"Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the
highway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."
All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semi
drives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walks
down the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."

Sent by Kellie

How do you sink a Polish submarine?

     You knock on the door. 

Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has
to take a shit real bad.
The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down
to use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls are
occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in
desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and
takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in
the pot and leaves.
Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that
says, "Dear Mr. Jones, All is forgiven. Just tell us...
where is it?"