A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs.
 She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect
it. As  she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very
embarrassed,  she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed
her little accident  and hopes a sales person does not pop up at that
moment. As she turns back,  standing next to her is a salesman.
"Good day, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks,
"Sir,  how much does this rug cost?"
He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit in
your  pants when you hear what the price is."

The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the 
front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today's word is 
"beautiful". Little Sally, would you please come up here and use 
"beautiful" in a sentence?" Little Sally walked to the front of the room, 
thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful 
woman in the world." Teacher says, "Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. 
Little Frankie, your turn." Little Frankie walked to the front of the 
room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, the sunrise this morning
was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen." Teacher says, "Very 
good, Little Frankie, you may sit. Little Johnny, it's your turn." Little 
Johnnie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, 
"Teacher, last night my big sister told my dad that she was pregnant and 
he said, "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful." 

What have a blonde and a computer got in common?

You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!


Sent by Tiggsy

(Q) Why don't blondes use vibrators?
 
(A) Because they are scared they might chip thier teeth!!!

Sent by T.L.Glenn

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything!