Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?

A: Oil of Ole'

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all 
the children to give their first name. When she got to the
little boy in the second row, he said:  "I'll give you a
hint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth,
and then it's in your tummy."
The teacher smiled and said: "OK, Dick, sit down."

 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.
He says "Doc, I think I'm impotent." Doctor sits him
down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior
citizens, about how as the body ages bodily functions
slow down and it is completely normal to suffer some
decrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn't worry
or become upset about it, but should just relax and
things will probably be completely fine and blah blah
blah. Finally the doctor asks "When did you first
begin to think you were impotent?"

"Three times last night, and again this morning." 

An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to 
top up a camel with water.
"That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks."
As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed 
them over the camel's balls.
The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water.
"Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist.
"Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally
fundamentally Christian pet.  So, they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they
liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it 
in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied 
equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.  They were impressed, 
purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).
That night they had friends over.  They were so proud of their new
fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed 
off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any 
of the usual dog tricks, as well.  This stopped the couple cold, as they 
hadn't thought about "normal"  tricks.
Well, they said, "let's try this out."
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command,
"Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead,
closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.