Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them
mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she
went into the family room to show her family they were impressed.
Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre,and your parrot on
your shoulder,and look you even have a neat sack to carry your booty,but
where are your buccaneers?
Says Mary, my buccaneers are under my buccanhat! 

   The Young Man's Big Mouth
   A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says
   the condoms
   come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
   "Well," he said, "I've
   been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
   condoms because I think
   tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then
   we're going out. And
   I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me,
   she'll want me all the
   time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his
   purchaseand leaves.
   Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
   parents. He asks if he
   might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but
   continues praying for
   several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that
   you were such a
   religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me
   that your father is a
   pharmacist."
   

   What's so great about being a dick ?
   1) You've got a head with no brains.
   2) Two nuts follow you around all day.
   3) Your neighbor is an asshole.
   4) Your best friend is a cunt !
   

A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a 
magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie 
said, 'I will grant you three wishes.' The man's 
first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** 
He was instantly transported out. He then wished 
for all the gold in the world. **POOF** 
The genie gave him all the gold nuggets in the 
world, all the gold bars, all the gold pebbles, 
etc. The man could not think of anything for his 
third wish, so he went out for a ride in his 
Ferrari. He turned on the radio, and after a few 
minutes, his favorite song came on. He decided to 
sing along: 
'Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner...' 

Which of the following doesn't belong?

(a) meat
(b) eggs
(c) wife
(d) blow job

(D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat,
your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob