This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her 
he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a 
tooth." The woman then says with anticipated agony, "Ooooohhhh, I'd rather 
have a baby!" To which the dentist replies: "Well make up your mind. I 
have to adjust the chair."

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the 
church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - 
that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. 

"Gladly," responded the good man. 

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at 
once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends 
his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in 
which it was given."

Why did the blonde go half way to Sweden and then turn around and come 
home?

It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television. 

Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 
cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, 
you'll get a 25% discount !" The nuns look at each other, and after a 
prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other:
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."

A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said,
"Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad
news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good
news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain
transplants and there has been an accident right out front
and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever
brain you'd like. The man's brain costs $100,000.00 and the
woman's brain costs "30,000.00." 

The patient could not help but ask, "Why such a large
difference between the male and the female brain?" 

The doctor replied, "The female brain is used."