An academic problem

In a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, 
and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk 
toward each other exactly half the remaining distance between them. 

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked, "When will the 
girls and boys meet?" Mathematician: "Never." Physicist: "In an infinite 
amount of time." Engineer: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close 
enough for all practical purposes."

Handy guide to modern science:
If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

What do you give the paedophile who has everything?
Another parish

Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?
A: Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you
….swear you'll never do it again.

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me
father for I have sinned.  I have been with a loose woman."

The Priest says, "Is that you, Tommy?
Tommy says "Yes father, it's me."
The Priest says "Who was the woman you were with?"
Tommy says "I cannot tell you, father, because I don't want
to ruin her reputation."
The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
Tommy replies "No."
The priest asks, "Was it Ann Brown?"
Tommy replies "No."
The priest asks, "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it Amy Thomas?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it little Cathy Morgan?"
Tommy replies "NO father! I cannot tell you."

The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance,
but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be four
'Our Fathers' and five 'Hail Mary's'. Now go back to your
seat."

Tommy walks back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over
and whispers, "What happened?!"
"Well, I got four Our Fathers, five Hail Marys, and six
good leads."