A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm
   getting married and
   I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions."
   He says, "All right."
   She says, "All right...what is that thing that hangs between my
   fiancé's legs?" The doctor
   says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay.
   And what is that
   big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head
   of the penis, the
   glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about
   twelve inches
   behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about
   your fiancé, but on
   me, they're the cheeks of my ass."
   

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had
gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.
Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?"
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What
does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from 
work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette 
asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was 
trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You put it around your 
neck!" The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

   A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so
   they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source
   of income.
   
   The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he
   would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or
   problems.
   
   A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all
   the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to
   ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She
   went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That was too
   much!"
   
   He then asked, "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a
   minute and ran to ask her husband how much.
   
   The husband said "Ask for $40". The woman ran back and informed the
   client.
   
   He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants
   and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that
   the man was really well hung.
   
   She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner
   again at which her husband asked, "Now what?"
   
   The wife replied, "Can I borrow $60?"
   

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store
laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's
no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and
once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of
the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him
to see where he goes."

Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts
cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the
guy.

About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies "Your house."