How do old people have oral sex? 

    They talk about it. 

An old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when
it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls
underneath to investigate the problem.
"Hmmm...muffler's loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey
Wrench." He says.
He crawls out from underneath the truck and looks down the road. Off
in the distance he sees a small house. There is a black woman and
several small black children playing in the yard.

The Farmer yells to her "Hey Miss, do you happen to have Monkey
Wrench?"

"What?" She yells back.

"A Monkey Wrench!!?" He screams.

"What?"

"MONKEY WRENCH!!?...MONKEY WRENCH!!?"

"Naw, this ain't no Monkey Ranch, its a Day Care Center!"

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he 
had gotten circumcised last week. "Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy.

So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.

"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?

     - Neither did he. 

    A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for
   his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives
   off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a
   proof."
   Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
   (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
   some variant.
   One student, however, wrote the following:
   First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
   we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
   they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
   gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As
   for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
   religions that exist in the world today.
   Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
   religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
   religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
   can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and
   death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
   increase exponentially.
   Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
   Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
   Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are
   added. This gives two possibilities:
   #1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
   enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
   until all Hell breaks loose.
   #2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
   of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
   Hell freezes over.
   So which is it?
   If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my
   Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep
   with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
   succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true,
   and so Hell is exothermic.
   The student got the only A.