A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
   and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
   pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
   clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
   fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
   got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you
   and gives you money, was a crime committed?]


  

A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed
for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the
four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving
should be counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be
alive to qualify. 

    This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line.

   Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
   currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
   Cause". Actual dialogue of a former Word perfect Customer Support
   employee:
   "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
   "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
   "What sort of trouble?"
   "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
   away."
   "Went away?"
   "They disappeared."
   "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
   "Nothing."
   "Nothing?"
   "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
   "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
   "How do I tell?"
   "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
   "What's a sea-prompt?"
   "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
   "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
   "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
   "What's a monitor?"
   "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
   have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
   "I don't know."
   "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
   cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
   "Yes, I think so."
   "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
   the wall."
   ".......Yes, it is."
   "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
   cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
   "No."
   "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
   other cable."
   ".......Okay, here it is."
   "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
   of your computer."
   "I can't reach."
   "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
   "No."
   "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
   "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
   dark."
   "Dark?"
   "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
   from the window."
   "Well, turn on the office light then."
   "I can't."
   "No? Why not?"
   "Because there's a power outage."
   "A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
   still have the boxes and manuals and packing suff your computer came
   in?"
   "Well, yes, I kee them in the closet."
   "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
   was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
   from."
   "Really? Is it that bad?"
   "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
   "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
   "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."