Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He 
decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General 
Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology
had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you 
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top 
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that 
weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either 
case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to 
all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a 
car that crashes twice a day?

In Melbourne (Australia) one of the radio stations paid money, $100 to
$500, for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This morning's
one netted the proud owner $300.

As the lady said...I was due later that week for an appointment with the
gynecologist, when early one morning I received a call from his office 
that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. I had only 
just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45 
already. The trip to his office usually took about thirty five minutes, so 
I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do I'm sure, I like to take 
a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time 
I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, 
threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in 
"that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I 
was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some 
clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the 
waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the 
procedure, as I'm sure you all do, I hopped up on the table, looked over 
at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other 
place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he 
said, "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't 
we?", but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of 
relief and went home. The rest of the day went as normal, some shopping, 
cleaning, the evening meal, etc. At 8:30 that evening my 18 year old 
daughter was fixing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the 
bathroom, "Mom - where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get 
another from the cabinet. She called back, "No - I need the one that was 
here by the sink - It had all my glitter and sparkles in it".

For many years I worked as a police dispatcher. Well, one 
day I got a call from a lady, very upset because a man was 
driving around a Walmart parking lot exposing himself. 
Well, I was very professional and took all the information 
and was starting to hang up when she added how upset she 
was by the whole thing and "besides, if they want to take 
those little things out and play with them, they ought to 
stay home." Needless to say I lost it at that point, 
sputtering out "Yes m'am" and hung up the phone.  

Sent by Laura