A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space
for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned
with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her dead.

Melissa was telling a coworker of the notice she'd received
of her Ten Year High School Reunion.  The coworker said, 
"So what year did you graduate?"

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety
          record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the
          use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial
          Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial
          accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered
          minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room.
          Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches
          after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the
          film.