I do system support in a law firm. The other day I had to log a 
user off and then back on. I entered her initials and then she 
just gave me her password (Rule No. 1 broken). Her password 
is genius. After three tries and the system telling me "access 
denied," I asked her how to spell it. She said, 
"G - E - N - I - O - U - S." There's one in every crowd. 

It was reported today in a prestigious medical periodical
that the black man is superior in all factions to his white
counterpart.
Leahn Barthomeau, who headed up the study, said that
previous studies indicated that the black man was
superior in strength, but was believed to be inferior
intellectually because of a smaller cranial area.
"Our study shows that the black man is actually smarter
than the white man", he continued.
"While the black man demonstrates his physical prowress
in mindless sports (NFL/NBA/NCAA) the white man will do
either one of two things:  1) He will try to compete or 2) watch."
"In conclusion we believe the white man is mindlessly handing
the black man's meal ticket for displaying his physical attributes.
Who is smarter? The black man, of course."

WASHINGTON, DC (DPI)  -- Earlier this week, the National Institute of 
Mental Health released the results of their research into the sudden 
increase of primary-school shootings.  NIMH researcher Eli Zleicherugg 
blames it all on a set of common childhood songs.  "The worst is 'Hi ho, 
hi ho, it's off to school we go, with razor blades and hand grenades,'"
Zleicherugg said at a press conference Wednesday.  "Not only does it lend 
an almost picnic tone to the concept of school violence, but at a deeper
psychological level, it bonds the idea of mass destruction to Walt 
Disney's 'Snow White.'"  Zleicherugg claims the problem is nationwide.  
"You can go into any sixth grade in the country, start singing 'Mine eyes 
have seen the glory of the burning of the school,' and watch the little 
yardapes twitch. I'm not saying that these kids are primed to explode,"  
he added.  "But if I were a teacher, I wouldn't delay in getting that 
concealed-carry permit."

In a related story, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is
investigating allegations that a rise in animal abuse is directly related 
to the "Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts"  song.