The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable
thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a
red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that
wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the
windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on
my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the
windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it
slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't
get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car
behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was
forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what
had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears.
He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me
the bird.

Sent by Matt

This one lady was telling the judge how her husband was 
abusive to her on several occasions and how fearful she was for 
her life.  She was seeking a restraining order.  The judge 
granted the order.  The bailiff asked if she needed an escort to 
her car, since her husband was in the courtroom with her. She 
said, 'No, he's my ride home.'

This is a true story. My sister and I spent two weeks in Paris. The locals 
obviously hated Americans -- no matter where we went, we were subject to 
rude behavior from waiters, store clerks, pedestrians, etc. After a while 
it started to irritate us. 

One day, in Paris, my sister went shopping. She entered a store and 
started looking around. She was the only customer in the store. As she was 
looking through the clothes on the rack, a clerk hurriedly approached her 
and very abruptly asked if he could help her. 

My sister was used to this bad treatment by now and she politely declined 
his help. She continued to look at the clothes. Then she noticed that 
every clerk in the store was staring at her. 

Defiantly, she continued to look through the clothes. When she could take 
this treatment no longer, she turned on her heels, with her head held 
high, and left the shop. 

As she left, she noticed that the sign on the store read...."DryCleaners."