TIME WARPED

I had gathered my first-grade class around me to teach them to tell time
using a conventional-style analog clock.  We'll be learning about the
hour hand and the minute hand, I explained.  One of my students
interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock.  My
dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's 10 minutes to 38."

Susan K. Toth in Reader's Digest

A LITTLE-KNOWN CHRISTMAS FACT:


One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was 

getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems

everywhere.

	      

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not

produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to

feel the pressure of being behind schedule. 

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.

	     

This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the

reindeer,  he found that three of them were about to give

birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

More stress.

	 

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and

the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. 

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot  of whiskey. When he

went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor

and there was nothing to drink. 

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all

over the kitchen floor.

	      

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the

straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed

on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little

angel with a great big Christmas tree.

	      

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa.

Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't

it just a  lovely tree?

	 

Where would you like me to stick it?"

	      

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the

Christmas tree.


Sent by Neicey

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter
only once) into:

    TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS


The only two presidents to have the letters from the word "criminal" in
their full names are, not surprisingly, Richard Milhous Nixon and William
Jefferson Clinton.