Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up. 

    - Thomas Edison 

Seen on a bumper sticker...

    Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot! 

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

"Fuck you kitty, I won't do what you tell me."
                        -- Ruth Hopping

I don't like to advocate drugs, alcohol, narcotics or insanity to anyone. . .
but they've always worked for me. 

- Hunter S. Thomson