Never consult a woman about her rival, a coward about a war,
or a merchant about a bargain.
        --Manny Schlott

Amputation with a blunt instrument is seldom pleasant.

"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I
was standing on the shoulders of giants." 

     - Isaac Newton 

"Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
 man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
 on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone."

-- Ryan Tucker, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"Eddie Moto, Hunchback of Midvale Community College. In charge of dismissal
 bell."
                        -- The Far Side