We sometimes meet an original gentleman,
        who, if manners had not existed, would have
        invented them.
                                        -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you can't get your books or receipts to balance out,
here's a useful term vending machine distributors rely
on: "Slug Factor." 

    - Rich Hall 

"Have you been to a zoo? I mean as a visitor?"

In spite of the costs of living, It's still popular.

                     -- Kathleen Norris -- 

"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown