"I've found crashing jets into skyscrapers is a good
way to catch supervillains. But since this is real
life and not a comic book, maybe it's not such a hot
idea after all." 

     - David James 

"Yep, [My 21st is] only 3 years away, but I'm not going to have a party."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm going to be dead by then."
                        -- Kathleen, Braden Smith, Kathleen

"... I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind... because
 that's what told her to get into bed with me naked..."
                        -- Steven Wright

* There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

"Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told"