"Men never do evil so cheerfully and so completely as
when they do so from religious conviction." 

-- Blaise Pascal 

"I'd rather drink a pint of someone else's diarrhoea then listen to this
 stuff."
                        -- Daniel, referring to me and Martyn singing in the
                           lab (he's now joined the choir =))

If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many
   lawyers?
         Calvin Trillin

"I just woke up, I'm 40 miles from my car and I can't remember where I left my
 trousers. I think I'm going to be a little late."
                        -- Someone's employee, rec.humor.funny

"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
 ascension."

-- In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers