Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less
       shit you have to eat.

"Big Bird meets Salvador Dali has been brought to you by the numbers L and
 ), and by the letter 3."
                        -- D. J. Green

"Here lies... Walt Whitman.  Aaargh!  Damn you Walt Whitman! 
I... hate... you... Walt...freakin... Whitman, leaves of
grass my ass!" 

Homer Simpson 

I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in
   California, but it's one more letter she'd have to remember.
         Sheckly Greene

I can't hear you.  I have a banana in my ear. -
   Te audire non possum.  Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
                        -- Jason B. Standing, Esq.