Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
   Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next
   morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
         Billiam Coronel

When doctors and undertakers meet, they always wink at each other.

     - W. C. Fields 

"Happy is the one who eats not the yellow snow."

                          on a Bazuka Bubble Gum Wrapper

"I hate intellectual discussion. When I hear the words `phenomenology' or
`structuralism', I reach for my buck knife."

                                                 --Edward Abbey

* Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.