There was a young girl named Regina
Who called in a water diviner
To play a slick trick
With his prick as a stick
To help locate her vagina. 

There was a young girl from nace 
            Whose corset just would not lace. 
                Her mother said, "Nellie, 
                There's more in your belly 
            Than ever went in through your face." 

BURN, SUBURBS, BURN

Burn rubber baby suburb baby, burn!
The gluttonous gluteus maximus
No new tax for us
Deep fat fry, suburb blubber baby-butt, cry
Whip the whimp, the baby-boomer gloom-and-doomer
Baby bought the fiscal fiasco
Baby brought the strategy tragedy
So sue God for the Damnages

Advice in Abundance

Unsolicited advice free and abundant:
So much of it there its often redundant.

When I was a lad and easily impressed:
I listened and nodded at the experts' behest.

Opinions they flaunted on a scale universal:
Expounding at length without forethought or rehearsal.

With style and emotion, each made a case:
Of factual content there was rarely a trace.

Middle age found me as the consummate cynic:
Quick to retort and given to mimic.

With the passage of time I relaxed my position:
Improvised wisdom doesn't require a logician.

In the twilight of life there is time for a chat:
I now render advice at the drop of a hat.

Copyright; Jay
Email: aamori@webtv.net

A fellow who slept with a whore, 
                                        Used a safe, but his pecker got sore. 
                                                      Said he with chagrin, 
                                                      "Selling these is a sin," 
                                        Said the druggist, "Caveat emptor".