Q: How do you get a Blonde to Marry you?
A: Tell her she's Pregnant.

Forty years later, they're in the same hotel room they spent their 
honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed,
spreads her legs...
Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably.
She says, "What's the matter?"
He says, "Forty years ago, I couldn't wait to eat it, and now, NOW..."
"Now?" she asks.
"Now, it looks like it can't wait to eat ME!"

Whats the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vaccum? 

     - With a vaccum, the dirtbags on the inside 

English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are 
cruising at flight level three five zero, feel free to move about the 
cabin, also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the 
flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, 
so just sit back and enjoy the rest of the flight, we'll be arriving at
our destination in 20 minutes, and I expect no delays. Enjoy the rest of 
your flight. 

Ebonics: Ebonia Airlines Dis be yo' main man, we be chillin at tray-five 
-o, if you be flexin get up off yo ass and shake that thang, my homey be 
killin the man's opression if you wanna smoke chronic, just hang loose 
blood, them bitches be cruizin on up with some forty-ounce 8-ball, so stop 
trippin and sit your ass back down, we be in the hood in no time afterall, 
i be bumpin switches all da' way. Peace out!

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to
mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptly
dropped his pants to show off his cock.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"