What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".

MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward any of this to your boss by mistake!!!

Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? 

A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night 
and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a 
virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been 
laid!!"

Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't 
worry about you." 

10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 
o'clock...12 o'clock... 

Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs 
Gladys... straight to the bathroom.

Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" 

No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with 
her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck 
between her legs looking at herself.

"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.

"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it 
came out.  When I find the other half you're gonna have the 
time of your life!!!"

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My 
name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?"

The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a 
WIFE."

Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?"

She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."