Mommy,mommy:can I play with grandma?

               Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last weeek!



                mommy,mommy:I hate daddyis guts.

                 shut up kid and keep eating.


sent by omar

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's 
crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at 
the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: 
disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, 
skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it 
aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her 
husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can 
make a crib like that for only $46.50."

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in 
his class. He wrote on his paper,
"The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called 
polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony"

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman 
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his 
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, 
the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair 
curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through 
a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. 
Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of 
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is
sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner!
Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to
gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and 
proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he
finishes the disgusted bartender says "Why in the hell did you shit on my
bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Sent by Paul