A girl goes to the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her
   blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
   
   "How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
   
   "Oh my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never
   takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
   
   A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
   takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.
   
   "How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
   
   "Oh my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never
   takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
   
   A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
   takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.
   
   "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
   
   She replies, "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, why do you
   ask?"
   

If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that 
there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we 
must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule 
states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow 
it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to
the rule that for every rule there is an exception. 

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,

Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering 
I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice 
holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along 
my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my 
grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They 
look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.

Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the
freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried
Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a
good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over
again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would
have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of
my haemorrhoid surgery, has she?

Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating
off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used
to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the 
frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about 
sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive 
family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling 
grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the 
black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.

Merry Christmas.

Love, Mom

A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after
arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone
rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a
colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
"In fact, three doctors are there already!"

A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road.
A woman was driving down the same road. 
As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the
window and yelled, "Pig!" 
The man immediately leaned out his window and replied,
"Bitch!" 
They continue on their way and as the man rounded the
next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the
road.