Q: What kind of bees give milk?
A: Boob-ees.

   A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just
   come out of the shower.
   The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What's that?"
   Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing
   at her pussy again
   asks "What's that?"
   Her mother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl again replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and
   once again pointing at
   her pussy asks "What's that?"
   The grandmother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?"
   The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do
   you ask?"
   The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is
   sticking out!"
   

Why is pubic hair curly?

If it was straight, it would poke your eyes out.

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an 
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she 
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.  So 
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. 

She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you 
done that and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 
years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the 
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come 
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from 
the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come 
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she 
asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

Chinese Subtitles



From a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, Compiled
by Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins for their book *Sex & Zen & a Bullet in
the Head*, to be published in August by Fireside. Cited in Harper's, June
1996.

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

Gun wounds again?

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

You always use violence.  I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

You daring lousy guy.

Beat him out of recognizable shape!

I have been scared shitless too much lately.

I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?