In a study of college students, Cornell University researchers confirmed that men generally prefer thin women to fat ones. It's part of Cornell's new "M.Obv - Masters of the Obvious" degree program.
A lady walks in a computer store one day with a box of 5 1/2 inch disks, says "I bought these disks and they seem to be defective." "So", says the salesman, "what type of computer do you have?" "An Apple," says she. So fine, he says, and takes her over to a IIe... "Oh, not this one," she said, "I own one of those!" And points to a Mac. (at this point the salesman, as you do, saw where this was going, and refused to believe it.) "Well," says the salesman "these are 5 1/2 inch disks, they won't won't fit in one of those..." "Oh, I made them fit." Says the woman. Needless to say, she had taken a pair of scissors...
Some years back my live-in girlfriend (and now wife) came home while I was napping on the living room couch. I was still half asleep when she leaned over me to try and get a kiss. I wanted to say "don't get your hopes up" but then thought maybe "don't jump the gun" would be better. In my half-awake state it came out "Don't get your guns up."
