Police in New Jersey pulled over what they thought was a drunk driver and 
it turned out to be a couple engaging in oral sex. The officers issued a 
stern warning and a high five.

Lady Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was 
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several 
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works 
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at 
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

Aeschylus:

A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the father
of Greek tragedies.

How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head

According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them
open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head for a 
rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead.